TRIGGERS!!!
TRIGGERS!!!!!!
HOW to almost have a sixth sense as to when they are coming and how to stop them from blowing up everything you’ve accomplished so far!
When I think of all the things that would trigger me once I made the decision to stay, man I could write a book on this ALONE! Smells, the way he looked, if the phone rang more than once in a 5 minute time frame, text messages back to back! Not answering his phone & not calling right back! You name it, it was a trigger and what did these things trigger??
HURT
TEARS
ANGER
FEELING OF BEING VIOLATED
EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTERS
When your trust has been betrayed after being vulnerable with someone, it’s hard to completely forgive! It’s even HARDER to forget! Let me be clear, trust doesn’t have to mean infidelity. Trust can mean trusting your partner to take care of the things you’ve agreed upon and they let you down repeatedly ie; gambling so it affects the households budget or putting the bottle of alcohol down so the intoxicated arguments stop disrupting the day! Even when that person has stopped the actions that once violated the trust and are ‘doing their best’ to right their wrongs, the healing process is a journey in itself and when that journey is disturbed by triggers ‘all hell can break loose’! YOU have to yell STOP, to your brain! PUSH THE STOP BUTTON, PUSH THE GOT DAMN BUTTON!!!!
Now let me STOP here and talk about that phrase I just quoted ‘all hell break loose’. This term is used to describe exactly what is happening at that moment! The devil has made a suggestion and you have taken the bait and allowed HELL to enter your presence! In this instance the one thing the devil hates is MARRIAGE….and a PEACEFUL HAPPY marriage will ALWAYS be under attack! It is up to you to be mindful of the attack, be PROACTIVE of the attack!
People think marriage is all cute and glamourös, nah that’s the wedding part of it! Unfortunately most of you will think the ring makes everything better! Now don’t get me wrong, while it can be cute and lovey dovey at times, on days when you can barely stand to hear them chew their food is the time that tests how strong your bond is! There will be stages of your marriage (if you make it) that will ask yourself ‘why do I even bother, why did I get married?’ and then times that feel like you just want them next to you because their touch alone makes everything feel like heaven. This is especially true for couples who’ve been through trauma that they have not healed from.
40-50% of first marriages and 60-67% of second marriages end in divorce. (https://www.petrellilaw.com/divorce-statistics-for-2022/)
WHY ARE THESE STATISTICS SO HIGH? What is the reason so many couples get married just to turn around and get divorced?
Lack of commitment is the most common reason given by divorcing couples according to a recent national survey. Here are the reasons given and their percentages:
Lack of commitment 73%
Argue too much 56%
Infidelity 55%
Married too young 46%
Unrealistic expectations 45%
Lack of equality in the relationship 44%
Lack of preparation for marriage 41%
Domestic Violence or Abuse 25%
(https://www.wf-lawyers.com/divorce-statistics-and-facts/)
Your life is a series of CHOICES! You can CHOOSE to take the time to heal properly or you can CHOOSE to hold on to the pain and use it as a weapon. The funny thing is despite your choice, there will be TESTS! YES, God will TEST you with every decision YOU make. He will test you when in your peaks, He will test you in your valleys. Test come after triggers, how will you RESPOND to the trigger?
IF YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO HAVE A SIXTH SENSE about when these trigger are approaching, If you don’t learn how to RECOGNIZE these triggers they will continue to reek havoc in your life; because once they hit, if you don’t establish the RIGHT response, the emotions start flowing, it’s like ripping the bandaid off of a gun shot wound!
So how exactly do you develop this super power of recognizing triggers?
GOOD QUESTION, I WAS HOPING YOU WOULD KNOW SO YOU COULD SHARE IT WITH ME!!!! HAHAHAHA just kidding!
Seriously, let’s talk about it! You know YOU! You can control YOU! YOU are the common denominator in YOUR life and that is about ALL you need to know when it boils down to it! WE are doing something different here at Moments Planning. Something that is OBVIOUSLY needed based on the above statistics and just the way marriage is portrayed in this day and time. We are taking a different approach to helping couples STAY married.
If you are experiencing difficulty enjoying your marriage,
the answer is not just DIVORCE! YOU chose your spouse, no one put a gun to your head (I HOPE 🤨) and your vows say till death do you part. I don’t care what the masses out here are saying, I don’t care WHAT social media is screaming….PUT IN THE FIGHT TO MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE WORK and not just WORK, but to be PEACEFUL AND HAPPY!
If you are engaged and questioning whether this is the right decision then you still have time to lay down a solid foundation for your coming marriage. NOW is the time to start!
IF you are here single trying to figure out WHY your relationships are consistently failing then you are in the PERFECT space to begin your understanding and HEALING process while building your foundation and establishing your non-negotiable so WHEN the right one is sent your way you are PREPARED!
DON’T DO IT ALONE! What got you HERE won’t get you THERE! You don’t know what you don’t know, let us show you the mistakes we’ve made so you no longer have to put in the guess work which could cost you YEARS of happiness! Click the link to join our free webinar “Understanding The Important Stuff” and start getting the help & guidance you need NOW!
